Sunday, January 29

SUNDAY FUNNIES - A Sissy Girl's Guide to Enjoying Sporting Events

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I wrote the following {tongue-in-cheek} tips
just in case there are any other "Sissy Girls"
out there . . . hope it helps!
Source
·      Team Colors - FIRST AND FOREMOST – For heaven’s sake, if you’re looking for somebody to root for, pick a team with pretty colors. You will probably have to wear some sort of clothing to blend in with the other “fans”. Use the utmost caution! Some of those hideous team colors were obviously chosen by colorblind men! If you’re going to be attending games, you might as well look good, right? Choose a team with snappy hues that look nice on you.
·      Mascots! I love these guys. Now that’s athleticism. They’re always doing something entertaining. Don’t miss it by paying too much attention to the game. And bring your camera. They look so cute in pictures.
·      Suites! Make friends with people who have box seats.  Cozy suites provide non-game activities to make the time go faster – like watching television. Score!
·      How to cheer without any pom-poms. If you do get roped into watching a game & you want to make a good impression, just watch the other fans. Copy their responses. You don’t want to say, “Yeah, ba-by!” if everyone else around you seems sad. It also helps to know which way on the field, court, etc. your team is supposed to be taking the ball.  DON’T ASK ANYONE – just notice which way the little guys down there seem to be running most of the time. CAUTION – they change directions in the middle of the game just to make it confusing! Duh!
·      Be prepared to talk about sports. If asked a question about sports or the game, the best way to avoid getting in trouble is to keep your responses general. Something like, “Well, they just gotta get out there & play the game” usually gets you off the hook. I mean, who could disagree with that?
·      FOOD makes everything better. When watching a game at home, make sure to plan some fun little football desserts or get some festive napkins & plates. If you’re attending a sports event & you get bored, just take a walk to get some tasty treats. This can kill a lot of time! However, take note of the next point.
·      Half-time shows! They’re usually way more entertaining that the actual sports event. Make sure to take your potty break before they begin. I’ve seen some fun magic tricks, cute little kids, etc.  TIP: be prepared with a deep question to ask your guy in case you need to divert his attention away from those cute dancing cheerleaders. (Sometimes they are allowed to perform if any magic trick guys aren’t available.)